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SubjectRe: 1.3.97

On Sat, 4 May 1996, Peter Jones wrote:
> Hey, 1.3.97 is getting a bit long in the tooth, isn't it? :-)

[ sleazy TV-marketing mode on ]

So, why don't you all update to the new-and-oh-so-improved 1.3.98?

This revolutionary new kernel improves your spelling no end, and there is
a FULL MONEY BACK guarantee that you'll be a better speller within 5 days
of getting and using this new kernel actively.

The 1.3.98 kernel also includes the new EZConfig technology, witht he
completely revamped network card configuration section. Have you been
confused by the ethernet card setup? Has it bothered you that the cards
weren't sorted alphabetically? Bother no more, just get the new kernel,
satisfaction guaranteed!

And as if that wasn't enough, the new kernel also adds enhanced security
features, while still allowing you to use your old and trusted strace
binary without modifications. Isn't that swell?

For those of you with floppy drives, look at the new code that adds a few
lines to make it even better, especially on sparc machines. And the
ide-cd code is leaner and meaner and doesn't do those unnecessary
verify_area calls any more. What more do you want?

Because if it's more you want, it's more you get. Thanks to our new
revolutionary "ReadTheSpecsBeforeYouWrite" Technology (pat- pend.), the
IDE driver is hugely improved, and now delays 5 usec after some commands.
We also have a totally new aztcd driver layout, making the driver look
even prettier than it did before, at no actual change of code!

For those of you who want to play games, or are just security-conscious,
the RandomDriver(tm) has also been upgraded, while keeping full
compatibility and allowing your APM-aware hardware to shut down cleanly
at halt time.

Do the wonders never end? The line printer driver checks off-line status
before doing anything else, so instead of bogus "out of paper" messages
you get the hugely improved "printer offline" message. Yee-Haa!

Also, the AIC7xxx driver hs been updated to "patch2" status, and is much
more stable for some people.

What would you pay for all this? $349.95? $34.95? 14.95? No, it's all
COMPLETELY FREE (where permitted by state laws) and can be downloaded
from a ftp site near you!


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