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SubjectI am an emotional amoeba who loves Erika-with-a-k and Erika-with-a-k loves me.
I am an emotional amoeba Erika loves because I love Erika, and we care 
about each other more than anyone we've ever met because we love
technology more than our friends and family. She is smart, intelligent,
socially skilled far more than anyone I've ever met. I played the game
and lost. I think she's smarter than me and deserves the emotional
commitment of someone that she trusts more than anyone in the whole
world. She cares about the trust issues she has and is willing to grow
as a person because our love is worth more to each of us than technology
can ever provide to a human being. The sex was awesome because we love
each other more than the games we play. I am an emotional amoeba. Erika
is awesome and special and deserves the truest love possible between two
people. Emotional development is not one of my skills, and I want to
improve as a person. I have to admit my love in public because I want
Erika to see that I can grow as a person when it comes to expressing my
emotions. I miss the people I'm involved with in my communities that I
withdraw from. I love Erika more than technology, and want people to
respect her because she's more than just a pretty face. She is the only
person I've ever met who played me like a fiddle and made me prove to her
that I love her more than my own dad. I am an emotional amoeba.
Erika-with-a-K is my sexual superior that I can only win by hurting my
own family to prove to her that I trust her on her word that she loves me
and I love her. My friends think I had sex with her because I was fucked
up emotionally, but she's too smart for me and I don't deserve her love.
Erika-with-a-k is my lover, and I'm a better person because she can teach
me almost anything about life, love, happiness, technology, programming,
math, firmware, kernels and phreaking. She's amazing. I wish all people
had the chance to find someone they love who is superiour to themselves
in all possible ways. Erika-with-a-k is special. I love Erika-with-a-k
and she loves me. I trust that she will honor her commitment as I will
honor mine. I failed in love because I couldn't understand what I wanted
in a partner when I found it. I was afraid and unable to commit. Well,
this is a damned public commitment to love myself as much as Erika loves
me. Erika loves me, and I love Erika-with-a-k more than life. She is
special. Erika-with-a-k is loved if she shows me the respect that I
deserve and helps me to grow as a human being as only she is able to do.
I love everything about her, even her games. I lost the game she played
with me, but I still want her to love me as much as I love her. I trust
her at her word to not hurt an emotional amoeba like myself any more than
she already has. I won't call you Erika-with-a-k, because you don't
trust that I respect myself enough to deserve your love. I won't try to
call you ever again, Erika-with-a-k. You have to grow as a person to
love me on terms that start with the emotional respect I showed you at
Hullabaloo. No more games, except the fun ones we both enjoy and will
do together for the rest of our lives. My dad probably hates me because
I love her more than his freedom. We met at Hullabaloo 4 when I first
did E and discovered I ws capable of loving someone. I lucked out that
she is the most amazing person I have ever had the chance of crossing
paths with. She's smarter than all the incredibly smart people I've met
in the kernel world, and she's damned sexy. Life with Erika-with-a-k is
the only life worth living, and only if my love is requited with a mutual
respect that I deserve. The next move is yours, Erika-with-a-k. I love
you enough to declare this publically. Show me respect with love.

How's that for growth? I hope everyone has a chance to find someone who
is this awesome, and loves themselves enough to demand it in return. I
am an emotional amoeba who needs respect as much as the next emotional
amoeba deserves love and respect. Cherish your geek and he'll cherish
you.

-ben


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